*We had our Christmas Bowden Dinner at Mark's house this year. Paul brought a DVD that had many of our old family movies on it. The most amazing thing happened to me as I watch myself as a small child. I could actually remember the feelings that I had at the very moments of my third birthday. I remember how pretty I felt in the new red dress my Mom had bought for me. How proud I was of the doll cake Uncle Andy had made for me. I was so young, I would have never guessed I could remember exact feelings. Our minds are amazing things. To me I looked so innocent, before the time when life seems to wear us down. I want to feel that way again. I watched as we went to the Homestead as a family. We were swimming in the warm pool and then my Dad took us out to the cold pool and threw us in the water. We were all laughing because as soon as he threw us in, everyone would scramble out in horror because the water was freezing. But not me. I can remember wanting to please my Dad. I think I was maybe four. I wanted to show him and I could swim all the way across the pool, and I did. I am still wanting to please him. Wanting to be near him again. I know we come to this earth pure and innocent and then we experience the struggles of life, that eventually humbles us enough to again become innocent and ready to return home. I long for that home, this dark morning on the last day of December.
*D&C 93:38 "Every spirit of man was innocent in the beginning; and God having redeemed man from the fall, men became again, in their infant state, innocent before God."
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